"We gave them science, what did they do?  They built a bomb and they used it, too!"
-Ayreon, 01011001

Has it ever occurred to the politicians, world leaders, and nuclear weapons scientists that building nuclear weapons that could destroy the world, when we have nowhere viable to go, and no way to transport large groups of people there, is a totally stupid idea? 

It's like a person who lives in the only house in a vast wasteland burning down that house, while they are still in it...

Stupid idea for today: What's between your legs determines your role in life

Sometime, in the distant past, before there were extremely unreliable and silly career aptitude tests, someone decided that the whole problem of roles in society could be solved by checking between a baby's legs and letting what you saw determine how the baby should act and what it should be when it grew up.  You've got a goofy-looking extra appendage?  Ok. You bring home the bacon, and if you don't want to beat the shit out of everything in site, we'll wonder what's wrong with you.  You're missing one?  Ok.  You get to raise the children and clean the house, and if you're not demure and submissive and proper, then we'll wonder what's wrong with you.  And we'll automatically assume you need to be taken care of and protected because the big scary world is just way too much for your fragile little constitution.

How on earth did we come up with that one?  Why not go by hair color, height, eye color, hair texture, or something else equally arbitrary?

"But Siren!"  you say.  "Men and women have psychological differences, too!" 

Yes.  That they do.

ON AVERAGE. 

Maybe, on average, women show their emotions more than men.  But you will still find men who wear their hearts on their sleeves and women who hide theirs behind a carefully constructed poker face.  Does that make the former less manly and the latter less womanly?  Of course not!  It just makes them different. 

Maybe, on average, men tend to do better at mathematics than women.  (I'm just guessing on this one.  Don't shoot me if some statistic out there proves me wrong)  But does that make the girl who aces advanced calculus in high school any less womanly or the guy who can't tell a quadratic equation from an equals sign any less manly?  Not at all.

Maybe males are supposed to like rough games better than women do.  Does that make the guy who prays gym class will be cancelled due to an alien invasion less manly or the girl who longs to be on the wrestling team any less womanly? No.  Where did we get that idea?

Maybe women are supposed to be better with kids.  Ok.  Maybe on average.  But then explain to me why my brother looks forward to our 3-year-old neice's visits and is absolutely wonderful with her and I dread the visits and breath a big sigh of relief when she goes home?

The only universally applicable difference between males and females is the obvious physical difference.  Yes, I was born with a set of ovaries.  But that doesn't mean I need to be taken care of, or that my only option in life is to be a homemaker, or that I am naturally nurturing, or have a strong maternal instinct or that I love getting dolled up in frilly clothes.  All it means is that, if those ovaries and everything that came with them work properly, I can have a baby.  That's all.  The rest is up to my personality, my natural abilities, and the opportunities I have.

I am not saying that conforming to the roles traditionally associated with your gender is a bad thing.  I could write a whole separate blog on how ridiculous and even harmful that is.  I am just saying that it's ridiculous how society has made such a big deal of what's between our legs, to the point of ignoring what's between our ears. That's what should determine how we behave and who we get to be in life.  We as a society are getting better about it, but even these days I meet people, even young people who've grown up after women's lib, who see gender roles as firmly set with no room for exceptions. 

Usually, these people site some sort of religious reason. The Bible or Koran says men should do this and women should do that.

To them, I say this:  first of all, those books were written in a time when, in the culture around, that was what people were already doing.  Women took care of kids, men provided for the family. This was before house-husbands and two-career families.  I don't know about the Koran, but it seems to me the Bible was just telling men and women how to fulfill the roles they already had been given by society in a way that was fitting to the Christian religion.

Secondly, I am guessing that if you are using religion to justify rigid gender roles, you believe in some sort of god.  So why would your god create a man who is great with kids and then punish him because he didn't want to be away from home all day earning money and prefered to be with his kids? Why would he/she create a woman with good business sense or good political sense and then get mad at her because she wasn't in the kitchen making dinner?  Shouldn't it matter that everyone is doing what they are good at and the kids are at least being taken care of by someone who has their best interests in mind?

Now that you all know what I look like and that I play music and hang out at an organic farm, here's a bit more detailed info about me, as I get grilled by the judges:

Paul_Partisan asks:
1) This contest will have you trying to prove you are the most deserving woman. I want to know some of your weaknesses first. What do you think you need to work on the most when it comes to your personality? Silly answers and no answers will probably make me hesitate in giving any points later on.

Even though I really like people and meet fascinating ones all the time, I am rather socially awkward, or at least feel like I am.  I am not the girl who always knows exactly what to say and do in every situation. I would like to be, but social situations often feel very complicated to me: lots of drama that I don't understand, delicate situations...I have some great friends whom I love dearly, and I love getting to know new people one on one, but large groups are rather overwhelming to me.

2) Have you ever created drama or been part of it?

I don't really go around creating drama, as it makes me feel silly. I'm not even sure how to properly do it.  I actually feel like I refrain from sharing my thoughts on situations for fear of creating drama.  But I have been part of it.  It's a bit hard to avoid.  And being in bands, it unfortunately comes with the territory.

Garistotle asks:
1) If you could have a meal with any famous person, who would it be and what would you eat?

That would have to be my main influence, Dutch composer/multi-instrumentalist Arjen Lucassen, creator of the Ayreon rock operas.  Besides being incredibly talented, he's got a great sense of humor and is quite easy to talk to.  (I met him in 2007).  Seeing as he is a vegetarian, I'd find a really amazing vegetarian restaurant.

2) Assuming you sing in the shower (as its the right thing to do), what is your favorite showerhead song to sing?

Of course I sing in the shower!  I'm a singer!  I just sing whatever is in my head at the moment, but I am rather particular to the Beatles.

Kestryl asks:

1. What's your biggest flaw? And I don't mean physically, 'cause I can see those for myself, thank you. I mean, what about your character or personality would you consider the ugliest part about you.

I am usually quite forgiving of people, until they cross a certain line.  And once they cross that line, I can easily become convinced that that person is absolutely horrible and have a very hard time seeing anything good in them, even though rationally I will know that they have many good qualities.  Once I get to the point of actually holding a grudge against someone, I hold it for a very long time.

2. What do you regret most? And I don't mean "I regret spending $100 on that trendy new purse". I mean one thing you've done in your life that you'd do anything to change or take back.

I do not believe in regretting things, simply because even our mistakes can teach us valuable lessons.  However, I do regret how easily distracted I was in high school and college.  If I had just focused, I could have learned so much more.

VaneDave asks:
1. If women demand equal rights, why should men still have to do stuff like hold doors, offer jackets, and carry women over puddles? Does that seem very equal to you?

I think the main point of those things is that women's formal wear has certain inconveniences.  Strapless gowns tend to be cold at night.  Men are usually warm enough (or too warm) in their tuxedos, so offering the jacket should make them both happy, right? High heels are hard to walk in, so if someone opens a door for me, I don't have to try to push it open teetering around in heels.  If I am wearing tennis shoes, I do not want to be carried over a puddle, I want to jump in it!

But in everyday life, I think people of both genders should be polite to each other.  If someone needs you to help them with the door, do it.  It doesn't matter if they're male or female.

2. Have you ever used PMS as an excuse for a time when you were just being a bitch? If so tell me a little bit about the incident(s) when you have. If not, explain why you would or would not do so in the future.

No.  Because if I have a legitimate reason to be pissed off, I don't want it blamed on my period.  That's probably one of the most annoying ways society has invented to shrug off and ignore a woman's emotions.

StewieIsMyHero asks:
1. If someone paid for you to have breast implants and guaranteed the safety of your health, would you get them?

No.  I don't particularly like my small chest, but I certainly don't hate it enough to let someone cut me open when there's nothing wrong with me. Even if I knew I'd be safe, I don't like the idea of being sliced open while I am still living.

2. How many pieces of pizza can you eat in one sitting?

Are we talking thin crust, thick crust, or stuffed crust?  Because that makes a HUGE difference.  I'd say 2-3 regular crust...


AreYouThereGodItsMeEmilyC asks:
1) Worth a thousand words:

The MXA pageant has asked/required photos of contestants in the first round. For some, this is the first time showing their real faces on Xanga. Aside from privacy, why is it that some choose to remain physically anonymous while being emotionally honest and open? What assumptions do you make about people who never show their faces? Do you assume that they are ugly or attractive? Do you feel more connected to a blogger or online friend if you know what he or she looks like? Just how important is the profile picture? What does not having one say?

I think some people just like the mystery of letting others picture them however they want to.  I used to work in radio and that was one of the things I loved about it.  I could say what I wanted, and people could imagine me however they wanted to.  I liked wondering how people pictured me.  And besides, DJ-Mystic got to say stuff that Cheryl didn't get to say, because DJ-Mystic was just a voice behind a microphone.

I don't really assume someone is ugly or attractive.  I picture most people as being average-looking, and create their look in my mind based on their blogging personality.  With bloggers, knowing what they look like really doesn't matter to me.  But if it's someone I personally chat with, I like to see what they look like so I can imagine them sitting at their keyboards typing me messages.

Profile pictures are important, but I kind of like it when they are artwork or some icon rather than an actual photo of the person.  To me, it just matters that the picture somehow expresses the blogger's personality and blog content.  Not having any picture at all kind of looks like they aren't interested in the whole presentation.  I like to imagine the voice coming from somewhere, even if it's a golden retriever chewing on a daffodil.

2) Does faith/religion have a place in MXA? Should it?

It has its place.  A person's faith can be an important part of who they are, and why should someone deny such a big part of themselves just because they are a MXA contestant? However, MXA should not be a platform for trying to convert others to your religion.  I, personally, do not plan to talk much about my religious beliefs in this contest, mostly because they are important.  However, if there is no other way to explain a certain aspect of myself, or there is some other reason I feel it is acceptable, then I will mention them. (I will tell you, though, it is not a mainstream religion.  So no assumptions! )

TheTheologiansCafe asks:
1. Which moment of your childhood was the one that caused you the greatest sadness?(Please describe the event).

When I was in elementary school, I never really felt like I fit in, and I was picked on a lot. But there were 4 girls I particularly enjoyed hanging out with.  Even though they were mean to me sometimes, too, they still invited me to all their parties and played with me at recess, so I figured that overall, they probably liked me.  In sixth grade, one of them left. In 7th grade, she came back for a weekend and had a sleep-over with me, the two other girls who still lived in Quito, and maybe 2 others.  In 8th grade, she did the same thing, except she didn't invite me.  I later found out she only wanted to invite her "good" friends.  I felt like that meant that back in elementary school, I was just the weird kid that followed them around and was permitted to stick around because my quirkiness was good entertainment. 

2. If you could eliminate one social ill, which one would you eliminate?

I would eliminate all the horrible treatment some people endure simply because of their gender, religion, political views, disabilities, sexual orientation, or skin color.  I know that's pretty broad, but I think a lot of problems in society arise from the poor treatment of people deemed "different".  Maybe if we quit treating them badly, we might learn something from them instead.


and finally your reigning Miss XangAmerica asks:
1. If you were to win MXA, what do you wish to contribute to Xanga with your title and new found "Xanga-popularity"?

I'd start an international wear your trousers on your head day and see how many people would actually post pictures of themselves in such a state.  It would make an interesting social experiment.

2. Tell us one joke/event in your life in ONE sentence that would cause the audience to to shoot milk from their noses.

"Don't make the same mistake twice, because it's more fun to be creative and think up new ones!"

Click to vote!