This post is inspired by the weird pregnancy dreams post on Mamaroo...

Since I am a musician, I get weird gig dreams every now and then. Here are some of the crazier ones.

- I was supposed to play a show at my old high school with their jazz band and the one I was in at the time. While I was waiting for the other members of the band to get their equipment set up, I decided to help out by trying to get the high schoolers to tune their instruments. I said, "Okay, everyone, play B flat concert." They all looked at me like I was speaking Martian. So I tried to explain what B flat concert meant in simple terms and still got a blank stare.  So then I tried to just get one section of instruments to play the same note. They still had no clue what I was talking about. I realized they knew next to nothing about music. The bassist in my band turned to me and said, "Cheryl, relax. It doesn't matter if they're in tune."  And then our lead singer was nowhere to be found, the drummer still hadn't set up, and I realized no one had a clue what was going on and the concert was in 20 minutes...

- When I was working on the material for Legend's Ghost, I had this recurring dream that I was on tour with Arjen Lucassen and he wanted me to perform my music as an opening act. Only problem? He only gave me 24 hours notice, I hadn't even finished writing it, I had no guest artists lined up, and I was frantic. And then Damian Wilson, one of my favorite singers, would be in the room, right in front of me, but I would be too embarrassed to ask him to perform my music...

- Last week, I had a gig with my some friends.  The night before the gig, I had a dream that one of the friends I was performing with shaved off half his hair and dyed the rest blue, but it was very unevenly dyed, like he'd had a fight with a bottle of food coloring and lost. He looked absolutely ridiculous, and I was debating whether to tell him as much or just go on with the concert and pretend not to notice and hope the audience would just care about his mad bass skills...(I told him the next day on the way to the show)

- A few years ago, I dreamed I was invited to perform with Star One, one of my all-time favorite bands. All I had to do was go to one of their shows, introduce myself to the band and say, "hey, I'm a singer" and they told me to join them onstage next show. Somehow, my coworker at the time got invited along as well. He was supposed to be my ride, and he left me waiting for about three hours. I finally decided to just walk to the venue, which was in another city. I was in the middle of this abandoned feild when my coworker showed up out of nowhere and said, "Cheryl, what are you doing here? We're playing with Star One! Let's go!" No explanation for why he was so late or anything, just acting like nothing happened. So we arrived at the venue and the band just acted like nothing had happened and we started the show. We went on tour with them and everything was great. Then, I got home, and an acquaintence of mine who I barely knew told me off for not telling him I was on tour. Apparently he thought the reason I hadn't contacted him was because I'd been killed in a car accident!

- In one dream, I was trying to play my flute and it kept falling apart...

So, if you are a musician, what are your weirdest gig dreams?

The women's movement has come a long way, and that's a good thing. I am glad that as a woman living in the Western world in the early 21st century, I have the freedom to get an education and have a career (any career I want, as long as I put in the necessary work). I'm glad my main objective in life is no longer seen as by society to get married and have children. (Not that there is anything wrong with getting married and having children, but I'm definitely glad that's not my only option) I'm glad that if I do decide to get married, I won't be considered my husband's "property."  And I'm glad I can do pretty much anything that men can do without anyone thinking there's anything wrong with it.

Which, ironically, brings me to one of the major problems in the gender equality arena today: If a woman wants to do something that is considered traditionally masculine, people often applaud that these days, but if a man wants to do something that is considered traditionally feminine, people ask what's wrong with him. If a woman wants to be a doctor, no problem. There are lots of female doctors these days. If a little girl is a tomboy, that's applauded. People think that's cool.  She can play sports and isn't afraid to get her hands dirty. Good for her! (Granted, I know tomboys have their issues too, but in today's society, it's usually seen as "cool" to be a tomboy, as long as you have a little bit of traditional feminitity somewhere.)

But it's another story for men who want to be homemakers. That's not considered "cool" yet.  Or if a little boy wants to take ballet, he'll probably get laughed at.

Why is that? Why is it "cool" for women to cross gender lines but "wussy" for men to do the same thing?

It's highly unfair. Not only is it forcing males into an ideal of masculinity that not every male wishes to conform to, it's also demeaning to women.  By applauding women who do things considered traditionally masculine and ridiculing men who do things that are considered traditionally feminine, our society is putting a higher value on "masculinity" than it is on "femininity".  It's basically saying it's okay to be traditionally masculine but not to be traditionally feminine. We will not have true gender equality until both genders can cross the traditional lines and feel like it's socially acceptable.

And it's just as bad when society has a problem with people who stay within traditional gender roles. Housewives are not somehow ruining progress for women. They are making their choice just like women who choose not to be housewives. If a woman wants to be a homemaker and that's what she likes, that's her choice. She just shouldn't be forced into that role simply because she is a woman, any more than a man who wants that role should be denied it simply because he is a man.

If I ever have children, I want my daughters to feel free to play sports if they want to, but also be feel free to dress in frilly pink dresses and have tea parties if they so desire. I want my sons to feel free to be "typical boys" if they want to, but I also hope that if they decide they want to take ballet, that our society will have reached a point where they won't be called sissies for that choice.

If people aren't hurting anyone, they should be allowed, both legally and by means of general social acceptability, to be who they are and do as they please, even if not many other people do what they do.